I took some much needed time off because I was lost. I went to Savannah, Ga and Hilton Head Island, Sc. They are both historic in nature. I visited Hilton Head for some much needed beach time. I was lost and needed go back to the bare basics of myself to find myself. I ended up breaking down to my best friend telling her how much of a failure I felt like and how I wasn’t going to amount to anything. In fact, I even went as far as telling her that I don’t want to be here anymore. (I hope I never get to that place again) It was just Sunday. Lost in a sense where I didn’t know where I was going. I was lost because I didn’t’ know who I was. It is a difficult place to be when you don’t know who you are. I promise. But throughout my self reflection, my “me-search”, I found that I am a businesswoman. Now, I know that may not seem like a revelation to some business people but it wasn’t so obvious to me. Let me tell you why.
Being from a lower class, you don’t see any business owners that you know. You don’t see anyone starting their own businesses. You see a lot of employees. There is nothing wrong with employees HOWEVER, when you don’t identify with the people around you, you begin to feel ostracized. In a world where everyone wants to be the same and society condemns you from being different, you see being different as a disease. So, you don’t know who to emulate. You don’t know who to look up to.
I went away for a weekend and found myself. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. We all do but we always find ourselves back home. I have to dive more into myself. I found out that I like a self sustainable life. I love the idea of that. Being that I feel like I have no one to count on, I always felt like I have to take care of myself and not accept help from anyone. It is a good and bad thing. Makes your pride skyrocket (BAD) but it makes your stronger (GOOD). I don’t know. All I know is that, I am figuring myself out.
Day by Day.